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external factors of life, uncon- intensity, can be re-appropri-
trollable forces, are not ex- ated, precisely because I have
cluded, but integrated here. the possibility to decide the
There is neither complete trans- course of my actions, and be-
parency nor predictability to be cause I have the ‘inner wisdom’
expected in the normal state of to accept them and to owe them
individuals: ‘One never is, and as my own, as part of my gen-
never could be, the sole author uine existence. The same is
of one’s life history. This pecu- valid for desires: ‘What makes
liar tension between making someone a person is not
plans and pursuing intentions, merely having desires but being
on the one hand, and their ef- able to take a position with re-
fects […] on the other, is obvi- spect to them and to distance
ously also a characteristic oneself from them. Calling a
feature of the way one leads person’s desires alien does
one’s life.’1 Ernst Tugendhat not mean that she does not
underlines the activity of the in- have them; it means, rather,
dividual when he states that that she has not made them
‘Leading one’s life means con- her own.We do not need to
fronting the ‘practical question’2 identify with objects, but essen-
and he means here, again, the tially, with something like our at-
self-command, the ability and titude, which has to do with
shape one’s own actions and
decisions. Being in self-com-
mand means that the relations,
in which I live, are not enslaving
me. However difficult and un-
surpassable they present them-
selves, I always can choose to
‘step back’ and consider what
my response will be to them.
But not only life-circumstances,
tragedies, major changes,
losses, but also my emotions,
when they seem to overwhelm
me, while showering me with